Timing vs Opportunity

I read a book called 'Outliers' recently.  It talks about timing and opportunity.

From there I realized, we are who we are primarily because of the year (generation) we were born.  My grandparent's generation is more unlucky, as they were borned in China in early 1900s, and they were forced to go through WWI and WWII, moving around and living in poverty.  So majority of that generation lived in poverty and instability, regardless if they worked hard or not.  That's why many of them came to South East Asia, trying to look for better opportunity to survive, and there my parent's generation were born. 

Our parents were born in the generation (those born in 1930s-1940s and reached their adulthood in 1950s-1960s) that if they work hard, they will survive better than others.  That explains why there are so many successful self-grown entrepreneurs in that generation.  The community at that time was still not as competitive, so long as one is hard working and frugal, after years of working, he should have some capital and knowledge to start his own business in the small town, with very little competition.  Of course, if one happened to be in a bigger town, then the chance of him become wealthier than those living in a small town after 10-20 years, is much higher.  The success of this generation is mainly owing to the fact that the world after WWII has growing population and demand for goods, hence many basic businesses were in demand.

Of course, if a person holds a tertiary qualification at that time (1950s-1960s), it's almost guaranteed that he/she will be groomed into a leader in government sector or in the corporate world because most people only have high school qualification.  College graduates were rare in that generation, which means they were not necessarily smarter or more hard working than others, they just have a better opportunity than others, owing to their family financial status plus more importantly, the timing they were borned.  If they were born 10-20 years later, they would most likely lose all their advantages, even if they were from wealthier family.

So what are the advantages of those being born in 1970s, i.e. people like us??  Oh well, think carefully. We were among the first generation to have computer at home during our high school age.  Then we were the first generation having internet when we just came out from college.  (Internet only became commercialized after 1990 and growed explosively in 1996-1997.)  So what does this fact make us??  It makes most of us professionals.  Due to the change from Industrial to Information Age, there were high demand for profession such as engineers, IT experts, corporate managers etc.  Hence, these professions tend to have better job opportunity and better income.  That also in a way explains why there are less among us that become an entrepreneur.

So what are the advantages of those being born in 1980s-1990s?  In my opinion, the world has moved from localization to globalization in recent years, which means there are higher demand for internet business.  Therefore many who studied window programming or php language etc in college, have the advantage to start up as online entrepreneurs and be the masters in the cyber world.  We were born earlier, where the programming languages we were taught in school were mostly out-dated.  Unless we took initiative to re-learn the latest IT knowledge again, we do not own any advantage in this current high demand area.

There you see, isn't the timing in which we were born important in determining who we become?  Some generations are particularly unfortunate, while some generations are just super lucky.  Of course, besides timing, how successful we become in our field also depends on the location we are at, our IQ+EQ+attitude.  It's what chinese called '天时，地利，人和' (timing, location, human factors).

Anyway, I consider our generation the luckier one.  What do you think??

The Five Love Languages

I just read a book - 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. It talks about five specific languages of love:

1. Words of affirmation. People who love Words of Affirmation love to hear encouraging words and verbal compliments.

2. Quality Time. People who prefer Quality Time appreciate others who spend time with them, pay attention to them and do things together with them.

3. Gift. Some people love to accept gift such as flowers, little notes, surprises etc., including the presence of their spouse when they need it the most.

4. Acts of Service. People who enjoy Acts of Service appreciate others for helping them with works, e.g. house works, gardening, laundry etc.

5. Physical Touch. Some people enjoy physical touch, hugs, kisses etc.

Each of us has our preferred love language. What speaks volumes to you may be meaningless to your spouse.

Most couples get married at the 'Falling in love' stage. At its peak, the 'in love' experience is euphoric. The couple are emotionally obsessed with each other. Unfortunately this 'in love' stage usually will not last forever. After the 'in love' obsession has died and the couple have returned to the real world, this is when they start to see each other's 'problems'.

For example, a husband who needs Words of Affirmation and his wife who likes Quality Time. If the husband never pay attention and spend quality time with his wife, his wife will start to complain about him and never give him any words of affirmation, just keep complaining everyday. Soon both their love tank will be empty and they will be sick of each other. The meaning of Quality Time here does not mean that the husband sits next to his wife but is reading newspapar constantly when his wife is talking to him about something. It means paying attention and respect to the person who is talking. Otherwise it's meaningless even if he claims that he does spend time with his wife.

If a person's love language is not being understood by his/her spouse, his/her love tank will gradually turn low and eventually become empty. From there, he/she may start to turn away and stop speaking his/her spouse's love language, and the spouse's love tank will soon become empty too. On the other hand, if they are able to understand each other's love language and are willing to show it continuously to each other, both their love tank will always be full and they will stay happily together.

Some will say they hate to deliver their spouse's love language, for example Act of Service or Physical Touch, as to them, it doesn't come naturally. Well, love is a choice. We are simply choosing to do it for his/her benefit, not our own. We want to meet our spouse's emotional need. In so doing, his emotional love tank is filled and chances are he will reciprocate and speak our language. When he does, our emotions return, and our love tank begins to fill.

The above mentioned five love languages also apply to parent-child and to friendship. Basically it means we usually get along better with those who can understand and is willing to fulfill our love language's need, and we hate and stay away from those who just never understand it.

So what is your love language??

November's reading

I read 3 books this month:

1. Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires, by Adam Khoo.
2. Getting started in investment, by Chris Gan.
3. Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain.

I like all three, taught me something new. First book taught me how to be financially smart, a lot of concepts/techniques on financial planning & financial intelligence. Second book taught me how to understand the stock market, read company's profile and investment options. Third book taught me the concept/techniques of applying visualization to achieve goals and peace.

I still have few books borrowed from friends, mainly on investment and self improvement. These are the two area that I am interested in recently.