It has been one month since Dad passed away.
The whole of October has been a busy and drastic month to me:
6th Oct - Dad passed away
16th-26th Oct - I went to China (as Dad wished, I 'brought' him to the Expo)
28th-30th Oct - Back to Sibu to discuss with family on Dad's tomb design and his other matters
1st Nov - Back to my ex-company and started working (as Dad wished)
3rd-7th Nov - Mum and bro were in town
Now finally, I get some time to settle down, sitting in front of my computer, looking back at what happened, working on what still need to be done, and thinking of what to do next.
From time to time, dad will appear in my mind, my heart will start to hurt again, eyes become wet, nose turns red. I know time will heal this deep deep hole in my heart. For the time being, I just wanna keep myself extremely busy and occupied, so that I don't get too much time missing him...
...BUT I REALLY MISS HIM SO SO MUCH................
God, why do you have to take him away from me and my family???... You should know how important he is to me in this world.....................
Sunday, November 07, 2010
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5 comments:
Jo.. Please take good care of yourself and i understand what you are going through. Just remember that you still have us and if any help you need, just speak out. We can whatsapp and talk about things if you want to.
take care my friend
dom
Just how to quickly fill up that big hole in my heart?... No more chatting with Dad every week, knowing that the only person that cares about me the most in this world has left forever... that's the hardest part that I have to dealt with everytime I am alone...
if you miss him and think of him, just sit down, and miss him, and think think think, if you do feel sad, just allow yourself to be sad,
yes, time heals, in a way, but it'll be in you, forever, you'll just miss him forever, cos, he's just so important,
and even 10 years, 20 years down the road, nobody will guarantee you that, your nose will not turn red, your eyes will not be wet...
dad is dad...
his love to you, will never change...
when he leaves, i guess, you just have to carry on his teaching, his moral, and his spirit, and his belief...
cos, you're his dear daughter...
soon, i you'll learn to talk about him, as if he's still around...
if you miss him 10 time, just write 10 stories, 10 blogs, 10 whatever diary, hidden, or public, up to you, ie. like writing a letter to him...
God takes away good people, cos, they've worked hard enough, they've contributed enough, and they need a rest, a good rest...
yes, it's hard, when you're alone, you may just end up soaking in your own tears...
but then, slowly, you'll get used to it...
just talk to your dad, talk to God, however you want, when you're alone,
face it...
if you try to avoid it, one day, when it hits you, it will hit you hard...
well... :)
i don't think what i said helps, though i hope it helps..
(and mostly probably i'm talking to myself..)
Ying, I think you know exactly how I feel, now that I'm going through what you have gone through. Isn't it tough and cruel?
Anyway, I don't like self-pity, I'd rather imagine what my Dad wishes me to do. So now I'm setting him as my role model. I will challenge myself to be a good leader like him. I have started attending 'leadership school' this month... another tough challenge but if I succeed eventually, I'm sure my Dad will be very proud of me.
*hugs*
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