I just read a book - 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. It talks about five specific languages of love:
1. Words of affirmation. People who love Words of Affirmation love to hear encouraging words and verbal compliments.
2. Quality Time. People who prefer Quality Time appreciate others who spend time with them, pay attention to them and do things together with them.
3. Gift. Some people love to accept gift such as flowers, little notes, surprises etc., including the presence of their spouse when they need it the most.
4. Acts of Service. People who enjoy Acts of Service appreciate others for helping them with works, e.g. house works, gardening, laundry etc.
5. Physical Touch. Some people enjoy physical touch, hugs, kisses etc.
Each of us has our preferred love language. What speaks volumes to you may be meaningless to your spouse.
Most couples get married at the 'Falling in love' stage. At its peak, the 'in love' experience is euphoric. The couple are emotionally obsessed with each other. Unfortunately this 'in love' stage usually will not last forever. After the 'in love' obsession has died and the couple have returned to the real world, this is when they start to see each other's 'problems'.
For example, a husband who needs Words of Affirmation and his wife who likes Quality Time. If the husband never pay attention and spend quality time with his wife, his wife will start to complain about him and never give him any words of affirmation, just keep complaining everyday. Soon both their love tank will be empty and they will be sick of each other. The meaning of Quality Time here does not mean that the husband sits next to his wife but is reading newspapar constantly when his wife is talking to him about something. It means paying attention and respect to the person who is talking. Otherwise it's meaningless even if he claims that he does spend time with his wife.
If a person's love language is not being understood by his/her spouse, his/her love tank will gradually turn low and eventually become empty. From there, he/she may start to turn away and stop speaking his/her spouse's love language, and the spouse's love tank will soon become empty too. On the other hand, if they are able to understand each other's love language and are willing to show it continuously to each other, both their love tank will always be full and they will stay happily together.
Some will say they hate to deliver their spouse's love language, for example Act of Service or Physical Touch, as to them, it doesn't come naturally. Well, love is a choice. We are simply choosing to do it for his/her benefit, not our own. We want to meet our spouse's emotional need. In so doing, his emotional love tank is filled and chances are he will reciprocate and speak our language. When he does, our emotions return, and our love tank begins to fill.
The above mentioned five love languages also apply to parent-child and to friendship. Basically it means we usually get along better with those who can understand and is willing to fulfill our love language's need, and we hate and stay away from those who just never understand it.
So what is your love language??
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
My new look
Guess what, I have my long hair chopped yesterday!! After all these years... within a second, I closed my eyes and let the new hair dresser did it.
Partly due to recent hot weather, partly due to my curiousity to test that new hair dresser's skill, also partly due to my sudden urge for a change of look...
I know, I know, you prefer my old look... When the weather is cooler, I will consider growing them back, ok!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Information Age
According to Robert Kiyosaki, we are now living in Information Age, since 1989. Before that, we lived in Industrial Age.
Well, I have to agree with him. Nowadays, it's all about internet which is full of one thing, information. Everyone seems so busy absorbing different kind of information everyday. I am just wondering, what are the pros and cons...
On the positive side, everyone has easy access to information, which makes them more educated, informative, knowledgeable etc.
On the other hand, so much info also makes everyone spend huge amount of time in front of a computer or a TV everyday (for my housemate Pig Pig, it's both), to a point which is often excessive, additive, unproductive, unnecessarily.
There are just too many news, blogs, latest info to catch up everyday. Some people have adopted the habit to follow up with their book-marked sites religiously everyday, and the list of their favorite sites just keep expanding. Is this habit really a wise and productive one??
To me, too much info makes me easily distracted. It is just hard to focus on one thing at a time. For e.g., if I on my computer trying to look for financial planning related info, the search engine often has an amazing way to bring me from what I wanna search to a thousand miles away, in half an hour time. I will end up reading multiple sites not related to financial planning, but about cheap fare to travel, some interesting blogs, breaking entertainment news, earth quakes, valcano explosion, interesting survey, financial news, obama saying this and that. At the same time, I'll be nudged by my online friends to chit chat... End up, I often forgot my purpose to go online completely... May be that's just me, I dunno...
Oh well, the world has changed silently, the people and the lifestyle too. I often wonder what would happen if internet is attacked and destroyed by some hackers, and the TV programmes also disappear completely one day?? Can the new generation survive or they will be bored to death?? One thing for sure, many of them would not need to even go to work anymore.
Well, I have to agree with him. Nowadays, it's all about internet which is full of one thing, information. Everyone seems so busy absorbing different kind of information everyday. I am just wondering, what are the pros and cons...
On the positive side, everyone has easy access to information, which makes them more educated, informative, knowledgeable etc.
On the other hand, so much info also makes everyone spend huge amount of time in front of a computer or a TV everyday (for my housemate Pig Pig, it's both), to a point which is often excessive, additive, unproductive, unnecessarily.
There are just too many news, blogs, latest info to catch up everyday. Some people have adopted the habit to follow up with their book-marked sites religiously everyday, and the list of their favorite sites just keep expanding. Is this habit really a wise and productive one??
To me, too much info makes me easily distracted. It is just hard to focus on one thing at a time. For e.g., if I on my computer trying to look for financial planning related info, the search engine often has an amazing way to bring me from what I wanna search to a thousand miles away, in half an hour time. I will end up reading multiple sites not related to financial planning, but about cheap fare to travel, some interesting blogs, breaking entertainment news, earth quakes, valcano explosion, interesting survey, financial news, obama saying this and that. At the same time, I'll be nudged by my online friends to chit chat... End up, I often forgot my purpose to go online completely... May be that's just me, I dunno...
Oh well, the world has changed silently, the people and the lifestyle too. I often wonder what would happen if internet is attacked and destroyed by some hackers, and the TV programmes also disappear completely one day?? Can the new generation survive or they will be bored to death?? One thing for sure, many of them would not need to even go to work anymore.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Security vs. Freedom
There are mainly two types of working group in this world. One type works their whole life to seek for security, the other works to seek freedom.
I am the type that tries hard to strive for freedom, as I hate to work 8-5 p.m. for others everyday. However I came from a society that mainly encourages security. Even my dad, who has been a businessman his whole life encourages me to get a job and cling tight onto it, for security sake. Most of my friends are office workers who believes in receiving paychecks from month to month as the best way to sustain their living, rather than taking risk 'outside' to seek for financial freedom.
I strive for freedom, not really just financial but the physical freedom to do the things I love, have the time to do them when I still can and still have passion to do. However in the adult world, physical freedom is a lot of time tied to financial freedom. So in the end, in order to achieve the real physical freedom, one needs to be financially free first. In order to be financially free, one needs to be debt free first. On the other hand, in order to be physically free, once must live on passive income rather than active. Otherwise one will still need to work everyday to earn the income.
So the answer is clear to me. In order to achieve my goal for physical freedom, I need to focus on:
1) building sources of passive income,
2) increase the rate of return on my $
3) be debt free.
Well I can tell you, it's really not easy. It requires a lot of mind cracking, learning, self discipline, changes of mindset, courage to stand up again and again after falling, struggle to seek for light in darkness, self encouragement to stay positive and strong, a lot of pyschology barriers to cope... etc. It is just not easy.
When my friends saw me cracking my head to achieve my goals, they will 'pity me' and tell me to go back and get a 8-5 p.m. job, as most of them see no 'security' in what I am doing. I know what they are thinking. They see me as '不切实际'. It is really hard for me to explain to them what I am trying to achieve. Sometimes I also feel like giving up after hearing their advice, but deep down I know I just hate 8-5 p.m. job so much that I wouldn't want to go back anymore.
It seems that the '8-5 p.m. work life allergy' is now the main force that push me forward towards working harder to achieve freedom. My dad and a lot of my friends will never understand it, except myself. My character makes me someone who really hate to be tied down by security, but everyone around me tells me I should choose security over freedom...
That's why a lot of time, I feel like I'm walking a single way on my own alone, where everyone is telling me to turn back to where I came from... It makes me a lone ranger, and I can't share much with my friends who don't understand my 'language'. I wish I could have some friends who are walking the same path as me, good mentors who can share with me their wisdom and someone who can encourage me to stay strong to continue what I am trying to achieve.
I am the type that tries hard to strive for freedom, as I hate to work 8-5 p.m. for others everyday. However I came from a society that mainly encourages security. Even my dad, who has been a businessman his whole life encourages me to get a job and cling tight onto it, for security sake. Most of my friends are office workers who believes in receiving paychecks from month to month as the best way to sustain their living, rather than taking risk 'outside' to seek for financial freedom.
I strive for freedom, not really just financial but the physical freedom to do the things I love, have the time to do them when I still can and still have passion to do. However in the adult world, physical freedom is a lot of time tied to financial freedom. So in the end, in order to achieve the real physical freedom, one needs to be financially free first. In order to be financially free, one needs to be debt free first. On the other hand, in order to be physically free, once must live on passive income rather than active. Otherwise one will still need to work everyday to earn the income.
So the answer is clear to me. In order to achieve my goal for physical freedom, I need to focus on:
1) building sources of passive income,
2) increase the rate of return on my $
3) be debt free.
Well I can tell you, it's really not easy. It requires a lot of mind cracking, learning, self discipline, changes of mindset, courage to stand up again and again after falling, struggle to seek for light in darkness, self encouragement to stay positive and strong, a lot of pyschology barriers to cope... etc. It is just not easy.
When my friends saw me cracking my head to achieve my goals, they will 'pity me' and tell me to go back and get a 8-5 p.m. job, as most of them see no 'security' in what I am doing. I know what they are thinking. They see me as '不切实际'. It is really hard for me to explain to them what I am trying to achieve. Sometimes I also feel like giving up after hearing their advice, but deep down I know I just hate 8-5 p.m. job so much that I wouldn't want to go back anymore.
It seems that the '8-5 p.m. work life allergy' is now the main force that push me forward towards working harder to achieve freedom. My dad and a lot of my friends will never understand it, except myself. My character makes me someone who really hate to be tied down by security, but everyone around me tells me I should choose security over freedom...
That's why a lot of time, I feel like I'm walking a single way on my own alone, where everyone is telling me to turn back to where I came from... It makes me a lone ranger, and I can't share much with my friends who don't understand my 'language'. I wish I could have some friends who are walking the same path as me, good mentors who can share with me their wisdom and someone who can encourage me to stay strong to continue what I am trying to achieve.
My youngest bro...
3rd May is the birthday of my eldest and youngest brothers. Just now I went into Facebook and saw a lot of birthday wishes from many many people on my youngest brother's Wall. I realized that I have not been a good sister all these years. I seldom called this brother of mine who is in NZ, even on his birthday this year I only sent him an sms in the morning, then went on to get busy with other things and forgot to call him up.
Just now, when I scrolled down his Wall to read the messages from his friends, I found that he was so loved by so many people for the many many sweet things he did for them all these years.
I remember when he was still a little kid, he liked to follow me everywhere. We were very very close. He was a very cute kid with round round face and has super duper good imagination. Even till now, his character is still very kiddy-like, funny, humorous, creative and loving. In fact, there is this side of me who secretly seeks for kiddy friends like him, as life as an adult is often very boring, and there are less and less fun people around.
Everytime when we get together, the jokes he told me would make me laughed non-stop. Even though he usually appears shy in front of strangers, if you know him well, he would be a great friend to have, a good listener and someone who is always there when people need him.
I am so proud of this brother of mine, and of course the other younger brother too. Two of them often make me felt so loved. I am just so blessed to have them in my life. * omg, i feel like crying suddenly... *
Reminder to Jo: Please be a good sister and don't ever forget to call your bro on his birthday again!
Just now, when I scrolled down his Wall to read the messages from his friends, I found that he was so loved by so many people for the many many sweet things he did for them all these years.
I remember when he was still a little kid, he liked to follow me everywhere. We were very very close. He was a very cute kid with round round face and has super duper good imagination. Even till now, his character is still very kiddy-like, funny, humorous, creative and loving. In fact, there is this side of me who secretly seeks for kiddy friends like him, as life as an adult is often very boring, and there are less and less fun people around.
Everytime when we get together, the jokes he told me would make me laughed non-stop. Even though he usually appears shy in front of strangers, if you know him well, he would be a great friend to have, a good listener and someone who is always there when people need him.
I am so proud of this brother of mine, and of course the other younger brother too. Two of them often make me felt so loved. I am just so blessed to have them in my life. * omg, i feel like crying suddenly... *
Reminder to Jo: Please be a good sister and don't ever forget to call your bro on his birthday again!
Saturday, May 01, 2010
iPhone vs. Blackberry
Which is better - iPhone or Blackberry?? Can someone summarize it for me?
By the way, the mobile phone world nowadays seems to have been monopolized by these two brands. The rules of the game have changed completely. Nowadays, it's all about 3G, internet surfing, multi-tasking, instant messaging etc. I wonder what will happen to other brands like Nokia, Samsung, SE, Motorola, LG etc?? Will they all die out soon??
Someone (like me) who carries a phone just with a primary purpose of making phone calls, is out. It seems that nowadays people carry an iPhone or Blackberry to tell others that 'Hey I'm in, you are out!!' or just to show others that 'My phone is so cool that I have to keep on playing with it and have no time for you...'
Today a coursemate of mine told me that she saw even a lady cleaner is also carrying a blackberry inside the toilet.
Since all my kiasu frens are now carrying either an iPhone or Blackberry, I feel so left out with my SE... * my brain shrinks liao *... so I'm gonna get myself a new phone... most likely an iPhone, which has a bigger screen...
Just hope that my kiasu frens won't be so kiasu to 'upgrade' themselves with an iPad (of course that's not a phone anymore) with a much bigger screen... (imagine everyone carrying a piece of big screen everywhere...haha).
By the way, the mobile phone world nowadays seems to have been monopolized by these two brands. The rules of the game have changed completely. Nowadays, it's all about 3G, internet surfing, multi-tasking, instant messaging etc. I wonder what will happen to other brands like Nokia, Samsung, SE, Motorola, LG etc?? Will they all die out soon??
Someone (like me) who carries a phone just with a primary purpose of making phone calls, is out. It seems that nowadays people carry an iPhone or Blackberry to tell others that 'Hey I'm in, you are out!!' or just to show others that 'My phone is so cool that I have to keep on playing with it and have no time for you...'
Today a coursemate of mine told me that she saw even a lady cleaner is also carrying a blackberry inside the toilet.
Since all my kiasu frens are now carrying either an iPhone or Blackberry, I feel so left out with my SE... * my brain shrinks liao *... so I'm gonna get myself a new phone... most likely an iPhone, which has a bigger screen...
Just hope that my kiasu frens won't be so kiasu to 'upgrade' themselves with an iPad (of course that's not a phone anymore) with a much bigger screen... (imagine everyone carrying a piece of big screen everywhere...haha).
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